Why I write

So, I think I am going to keep going with this kind of theme for now. Next I plain to do "How I write," but this post will be on why. So Why? Well on the one hand it's because I enjoy writing. Now that is not always true. Many times I don't feel like writing. Mostly because I don't feel inspired. I have learned though that if I pick up the pen and just start, the words come. And the more I write the more the creative juice keep flowing. More so then if I just wait for ideas to come to me. That being said, I don't write every day. I have read that other writers recommend that you have a set amount of time you write every day or a number of words. That sounds like really good advice, but I honestly don't do it. Some of it is I am not working to live off my writings, and I likely never will. It would be great if one day I could get to the point I could live off my writing, but that's not why I write. I don't want writing to just become work. Something I have to do. Now sometimes I think its important to write even when I don't feel like it. Like I said above, it gets things moving when I don't think I have any idea what to write. But I still want writing to be a joy and not a dread.

In the last blog I said I have a writers mentality. I have read stuff by other authors that seem to have the same thought. They may not call it the same thing, but it's when you look at things from a writes perspective. But also its the idea that you have to write. You can't help but write. Now that's not to say that there are not people who write that do not have a writer's mentality. Any one can write anything with enough money and resources. And they may even be able to write good stuff. But those who write because they think like a writer and can't seem to help but write, is what I'm calling have a writer's mentality. You will write even if nothing ever becomes of your work or no one ever sees it. Now there may be others who call this bull, and that's fine, but this is honestly what I think and feel.

There was a time where I almost stopped writing. I started my first story when I was 9 and it took me 2 years to finish. It's supper short and truly terrible. It will never get a rewrite or see the light of day, but it got me started. I continue to write short stories after that. Most still pretty bad, but I think they started to get better as I went. Then I hit high school. I had been home schooled up to then, but for high school I went to the public school. I wrote some my freshmen year and then stopped. I had so much more going on and more writing for school to do. My own writing fell to the way side. And I was in the middle of a story! Looking back I think I was questioning if I was a writer. Often by the time I was done with a story, when I looked back over it, I could see it was not very good. So all things combined, I stopped writing, even over the summer. But I still had lots of ideas for stories. I might have stopped the physical writing side, but the writer side of me, so to speak, was still alive and kicking. I think my senor year I did some praying and felt the call to keep writing. I picked back of my story and finish it senor year. And it was then I came to the main reason for why I write. It is one of my gifts from God.

I came to realize He made me a writer. I have never been a good speller. I ones had a teacher in high school tell me my spelling was atrocious. But even so, I always got good grades on my papers. I might not be able to spell, but I was still a good writer. I also knew my writing improved in high school. The story I finally finish, the end was better written then the beginning. I could not say how it was better, but I knew it was better. I had never given up the idea in high school of begin an author, though I questioned if it would ever happen. And even after I recognized it as one of my gifts, I still did not know if I would ever get anything published. But I wrote any way. I wrote for me. I was growing and learn from my own writing. I hoped to get publish, and I felt a soft nudge from God saying, "I did not make you this way for nothing." I wrote the first story of my book "Meeting Jesus: Three Christmas Stories," in college. I wrote the next two after college. Then they were tucked away as I continued to write. Now and again, I would pull them out and edit a little here and there. Later I had a friend and former school teacher read and do a better edit. It's never been professionally edited, and if you read them you can probably tell. But after much prayer and prompting from God, I set out to try to get them published. And by the will of God they were. Now I think I may have gotten suckered with how much I had to pay to get them published, and there's a lot I did not know about publishing. (Like marketing is on you, the writer. :( and I have lots more to learn I'm sure.) But it's a learning experiences. I mind as well take the good out of it and not get up set. It may be a while before I publish any thing else. It's not cheep, and I have a lot I need/want to learn before I try this again. But when it comes down to the main reason why I write, its because writing is one of my gifts. God made me a writer, and I should not wast what He had given me. I want to use it to His glory. Its not about the money. Its never been about money and should never be. If the Lord chooses to bless me in that way, that would be great, but if I ever start focusing on that rather then Him, I hope He will wake me up or make it so I can't write at all. Its not about me. That's why I use a pen name. Few people around me even know I've written a book. It makes getting my name as a writer out there more difficult, but that's ok. I chose a pen name so that I could try to hold my own pride in check. If I am keeping my identity secret, I can't go bragging to everyone, "Hey, I wrote a book. You want to read it, right?" I view my writing as a form of ministry. Its not about me. God made me a writer, so I want to give the glory to Him, hence the name, Cleo Lael. Cleo mean pride, fame, or glory. Lael means belonging to God. So glory belongs to God.

So why do I write?

Because I'm a writer and that's who God made me. To Him be all praise, honor, and glory. Amen.